Gay men putting on condoms

Sexplain It: I’m on PrEP, but Still Use Condoms. Every Guy Just Wants Bareback Sex.

I'm Zachary Zane, a sex writer, author, and ethical Boyslut (a fancy way of saying I rest with a lot of people, and I'm very, very open about it). Over the years, I've had my fair share of sexual experiences, internet dating and sleeping with hundreds of people of all genders and orientations. In doing so, I've learned a thing or two about navigating issues in the bedroom (and a bunch of other places, TBH). I'm here to answer your most pressing sex questions with thorough, actionable advice that isn't just "communicate with your partner" because you know that already. Ask me anything—literally, anything—and I will gladly Sexplain It.

To submit a question for a future column, pack out this form.


Dear Sexplain It,

As a queer bloke, I've been surprised to find, especially in recent months, that I'm feeling in the minority as someone who uses condoms during penetrative sex. Even though I seize PrEP, I still feel most relaxed with condoms to avoid other STIs. However, I've establish

"What do you call a gay guy who got infected in the '80s? A victim. What do you call a gay guy who gets infected in ? An idiot." Well put by a reader to my gay dating column, but way off the mark.

According to the CDC, modern HIV infection rates among gay men keep climbing and this year is no exception. I realize the level of fury a lot of homosexual guys have about this sobering trend. I've just had two something friends turn HIV positive. Some in our inner circle went ballistic with wrath. "Why didn't they exploit condoms?" seethed one confidant. "It's not like they don't how to guard themselves -- they CHOSE not to. And if that's the case don't they deserve what they got?"

Well, no. True, if people were any more stupid about safe sex we'd have to fluid them twice a week, but the anger has no logic. When emergency workers pull dead or injured people out of car crashes do they blame the victims for not wearing seat belts? Do they refuse to help them?

The standard reasons experts give about rising infections center around "Plague Fatigue" and misplaced "AIDS Optimism" (believi

Q&A: Decline in condom use indicates need for further education, awareness

Research  |  Social science  |  UW News blog

February 27,

A new University of Washington study measures changes in sex without condoms among HIV-negative gay and bisexual men who are not taking y

New investigate from the University of Washington shows that condom use has been trending downward among younger homosexual and bisexual men over the last decade, even when they aren’t taking pre-exposure prophylaxis, or PrEP.

The study, published Feb. 27 in AIDS and Action, measures changes in sex without condoms among HIV-negative gay and bisexual men who are not taking PrEP. Using data from the cycles of the American Men’s Internet Survey — a web-based survey of cisgender men ages 15 and older who have sex with men (MSM) — researchers initiate that roughly half of HIV-negative men reported using condoms at least sometimes in the last year. That was higher than the 15% of respondents who reported using PrEP.

But HIV-negative MSM who are not using PrEP sound to be not using condoms increasi

How to use condoms and lubricant

Condoms & lubricant

Image: kittiwat chaitoep/

Key points

  • Using condoms correctly will prevent them breaking, leaking or slipping off during sex.
  • Use only water-based or silicone lubricants, not oil-based.
  • If you lose your erection the condom may slip. Holding the build of the condom will support it stay in place.
  • If the condom does slip or end, withdraw immediately and use a new one.

Using a condom properly is easy, once someone has learnt how. Correct use will prevent condoms breaking, leaking or slipping off during sex. Here are the most important aspects of condom use. More detailed instructions are given below.

  • Choose a condom with a quality notice such as the BSI Kitemark or the European CE mark, and check the expiry date.
  • Look after the condom – do not leave unused condoms in manage sunlight, be careful of tearing, using old condoms, leaving cosmos or air in the condom, or not using enough lubrication.
  • Use the right kind of lubricant (preferably silicone-based, otherwise water-based) and not the wrong kind of lubrica